JOB ALERT: HOUSE-SLAVE WANTED

It’s been busy at home this week after I partially tore a ligament in netball on Monday night. My poor husband is exhausted from “doing everything” and begged to go back to the office after two whole days at home.

A veritable army of very kind people helped me this week with the kids, dinners, shopping, ferrying me to playdates and physio appointments. Thank you.

I am now starting to get back into the swing of things. Not that I want to. I LOVED having “The Help” around. There’s nothing quite like being forced to put your feet up for a week to appreciate how much I really do. Some of that stuff really matters (playing with the kids, story time, bath time, breakfast, lunch, dinner) and most of it doesn’t (washing clothes, cleaning, tidying up, vacuuming and washing up dishes)

With this in mind applications are now open for the role of House-Slave.

Job Description:

  • You possess a sunny disposition, can sort out toddler arguments over toys and preferred seating arrangements in a jiffy
  • You love ironing, washing, hanging and folding clothes, cleaning, tidying, vacuuming and washing up dishes
  • You will enjoy no rewards program, no salary, no over-time and no weekends off
  • Night-shift work when required

Only qualified applicants need apply.

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14 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Leanne - The Mommy Radar
    Feb 24, 2013 @ 14:44:41

    I could use a House-Slave around here but I’m too busy surfing random blogs to type up a proper job notice. Here’s an idea: You review the applications you receive and then send me the rejected candidates. My standards might be lower than yours 🙂

    Reply

    • domesticallyuseless
      Feb 24, 2013 @ 19:36:32

      That sounds like a great collaboration idea but I am worried about the number of candidates (none so far) that have applied!

      Reply

      • Leanne - The Mommy Radar
        Feb 25, 2013 @ 14:25:17

        Darni it! Guess I’ll have to get started on that pile of dirty dishes in my sink and the overflowing basket of laundry beside me.

      • Aaron Younger
        May 08, 2013 @ 13:30:33

        How can I apply?
        Aaron

      • domesticallyuseless
        May 10, 2013 @ 13:40:07

        Applications have now closed! Thanks for your interest. :o)

      • david criado
        May 31, 2013 @ 23:28:11

        Your Highness,

        my name is david, i have been a live-in butler boy (house slave) for almost 5 years in Southampton, U.K. i’d love to make myself useful again, so therefore i wanted to apply.

        i am used to do all household chores, as well as cooking (French & Italian cuisine) and serving the table, dressed in uniform wearing white gloves.

        Thank You so much in advance,

        *bows down*

        xx servant david

    • jon
      Jul 13, 2013 @ 17:28:47

      I would very much like to apply for the above position if it is still going? I have a lot of cleaning experience and come with references

      Reply

  2. Amir
    Mar 27, 2013 @ 22:37:49

    I would love to apply for this position, I will be honored if you consider giving me the chance to become your house-slave (if it’s still available?)

    Reply

  3. Dan
    Apr 15, 2013 @ 05:08:32

    What do you mean by ‘qualifications’?

    Reply

  4. Andrew
    May 26, 2013 @ 04:00:34

    I would make a good slave any takers? X

    Reply

  5. Trackback: The Queen of Distraction | Domestically Useless
  6. ann
    Jun 06, 2013 @ 17:35:32

    who are all these men that have applied here??? i am blown away!

    Reply

  7. Jon
    Jul 23, 2014 @ 02:46:13

    How do I apply?

    Reply

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